Morning Breath

Have you ever had those mornings you just feel like burrowing into the covers like a groundhog, never to show your face except once each year for your birthday?

Me too.

I am not, by nature or by habit, a morning person.

You can ask my parents, brother, college roommates, the men from the Bromansion, and my wife. They will all agree, James Bass has a hard time with the mornings. If morning breath could be an attitude, I would have it in spades. Rest assured, I will go through all the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) every single morning.

I just finished the acceptance stage a few minutes ago.

I ran across something that kind of describes the feeling. As I walked into our church's car park I greeted Michael, who operates the booth that controls who comes in and out of the parking lot. When I asked him how he was doing he replied in a cheerful Irish brogue, "Oh I'm alright. Can't complain and no one'd listen if I did." And I completely agree. My wife is very much a morning person; singing songs to herself, dancing when she thinks I'm too busy writing a blog to notice, and she possesses the wisdom not to put up with Surly Morning James.

To be fair, we have also been working like crazy the past few weeks. We are halfway through reorganizing the Alive Church's storage, we prep and clean up from every church event, and Saturday night we did our first church Date Night (where the parents come and watch a movie with other adults while we wrangle the kids for 2-3 hours). Check out our decorations for the kids!

The date night was fun, don't get me wrong, but we were so tired we were on the verge of crying into our lucky charms afterwards. Molly even got a cold this past week. But healthy hard work is not an excuse to pout and it is only by God's grace that my exhaustion and annoyance haven't gotten in the way of blessing our community.

Or maybe this feeling is not just from the mornings or the work, but our stage of missionary life.

You see, Molly and I are entering the stage of acculturation called disillusionment (also called hostility or resistance). The honeymoon/elation phase is tapering off and we are beginning to feel the opposite pendulum swing of being annoyed at the Irish culture, maximizing the ways Americans are awesome, and complaining. Lots of complaining. Mostly on my end. Additionally the disillusionment phase can also include headaches and depression. Huh.

Time and Tide

This last weekend one of our dear neighbors and her father introduced us to Curracloe Beach in Wexford county. For a little bit of background, this is one of the most popular beaches in all of Ireland and is actually where Steven Spielberg filmed the Omaha beach scene in Saving Private Ryan. If you know Molly, you know she is a HUGE beach person, so this was a VERY big deal. Our neighbor's father, Mr. Carty, is a regular at this particular beach because he loves to swim in the ocean, in any weather, all year round. We walked miles up and down the beach as he told story after story of storms, seals, and sand.

There has always been something about the ocean that has pulled at me. My brother once sailed around in the Gulf of Mexico, but I have never been much of a sailor myself. However, the relentless collision and recession of the waves on the shore has always reminded me of the saying,

"Time and tide wait for no man."

So as I walked along the beach, hearing the sound of the rushing waves, I could feel the Holy Spirit whispering. Teaching me. You see, I'm beginning to realize that God's grace does not wait on me. God's grace is relentlessly washing over me, no matter what stage of life that I am in. God does not wait till I am done being surly to work in me or to work through me. No. God is the kind of God who will erode my disillusionment with the abundance of His grace, even if it is sometimes in spite of me. No matter how long the disillusionment stage continues, I know that God's grace will continue crashing over me long after the dissolution dissipates. How do I know this? Well, for one thing...

We are officially 100% funded!!!

For those of you that have been anticipating surprising news from us, THIS IS IT (no baby basses yet). With everything that our monthly partners are pledging to give, we will have everything needed to stay here for the full two years! Praise God! Once again, y'all show us the unrelenting grace of God through your faithfulness to give. If any of you still feel called to partner with us and haven't already, PLEASE DO. Molly and I have specific ways we want to pour into Alive Church through generosity, and that is what any financial surplus will go towards.

The Take Away

So what am I trying to say in all of this?

To be sure, every missionary will encounter disillusionment and by God's grace will walk through it. But would I be wrong in saying that each of us are experiencing disillusionment, at least in one area of our lives? Maybe you are beginning to realize that God never intended you marriage to be like a Disney movie, or that your children should not dictate your identity, or that job you work so hard for can also distract you from a life lived to the full, or that escaping to fantasy or tv when stressed will only numb the fear for the moment. If we let it, disillusion can cripple and depress us. However, if we abandon ourselves to God's grace, we can walk through it with a stronger purpose and vision for that area of life.

What are you disillusioned about?

How is God's grace still working in and through you?